Once a loner, always a loner
by Jake the fanfic addicted dog
Summary: This is what happened after Hikigaya Hachiman decides to pursue college in Chiba University
1. chapter 1

This is like a reboot to the first fic I made so yeah


	2. College

BRING ON THE FLAMES OF HATE. I AM READY FOR HURTFUL REVIEWS THAT IS IF ANYONE READS THIS MOCKERY OF AN ACTUAL STORY

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING ERGO THOU SHALT NOT SUE ETH ME

College: The Final stage of education.

Degree: A diploma given to one when one completes their chosen course in college.

This story centers on the college life of a loner who understood the workings of society but is forced to take part.

Monday*

 **HACHIMAN'S POV**

The name is Hikigaya Hachiman, certified loner, pessimist, Chiba enthusiast, Low-key siscon, etc. Basically I am what society calls a creep. I am currently on my way to Chiba U for my first day in college and I aim to preach my ways of being a loner to my fellows by showering them with pessimism and the ugly truths of society. The course I am taking is Bachelor of Arts in Literature which I chose instantly due to the fact that I am proficient in the japanese subject but weak in the math and science department and this is the story of my college life.

"My fellow retainer, How has thee been fairing"

The one talking in a 17th century accent is a white haired beta-versioned homo sapiens with massive amounts of excess flesh named Zaimokuza. Regrettably Zaimokuza has been my acquaintance for quite some time specifically in between middle school and high school and he has yet to break free from his cocoon known as chuunibyo.

"When will you ever grow from your habits of going back in time?"

"When thee, my retainer shall have what they call a girlfriend"

"Then I wish you good luck in getting a job with your certain antics getting in the way"

Though what I say is true, I can't deny that what that Zaimokuza is saying is true, the chances of me getting a love interest is as high as how a snail can survive when sprinkled with salt, not that I was actually looking for one.

"By the way Zaimokuza"

"What is it?"

"Why did you choose this course?"

"Kakakakaka It seems a though that you have forgotten my masterpieces that I have so generously given to you in our years in highschool"

"You mean those trashy light novels that you used to write in highschool?"

"Gah... How dare you call such masterpieces trash"

"They are trash. The plots were to generic and was centering on the harem and fanservice portions of the story not on the character development of the protagonist"

"Hgnk!"

"And the characters are way too flat none of them were rounded, some characters came off as forced and instead of leaving a good impression on the reader, you made the reader want to-"

"Please, enough, I can no longer take the suffering that comes with such blunt yet accurate judgment of my novels"

" _Sigh._ So basically the reason you chose this course was to improve your writing from barely passable to above average writing"

"Truly it is a mystery as to why I am friends"

"That it is"

As we continue our journey towards the station we met a familiar face but to be honest she is one of the people I would rather forget no matter how cute she is

"Senpai~~"

"It seems as though life has shown me an oppurtunity to have a romantic interest now I shall deploy my charms to woo the fair maiden"

"Oi Zaimokuza beca-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Now I'm sure most of you are wondering as to what happened to Zaimokuza that resulted to his unholy wails from hell, it is all caused by the mild yet still effective pepper spray used by a certain vixen to protect herself from a lumbering bison that was charging towards her who then proceeded to hide behind me. Wait, what?

"Oi what are you doing back there?"

"I'm hiding from that creepy perv who tried to force himself to me"

As she said that many eyes were now boring holes in poor Zaimokuza

"Oi, as much as I despise his antics it doesn't change the fact that that bison is still my friend"

"Though I appreciate that you now consider me as your friend I would appreciate it even more if you didn't add the last part thank you and kindly explain everything to the security I kinda don't want to go to jail"

Inside the train*

"Mou~ Senpai you would choose that chuuni over me your mean, after all that we've been through did those dates mean nothing to you?"

"WHAAAAAAT! YOU TRAITOR YOU HAVE FORSAKEN THE FFF* CREED"

"Oi, first of all those were practice dates that was actually meant before you actually date Hayama and for your clarification Zaimokuza I never joined your inquisition composed of losers who feel bitter towards couples or guys who just have more appeal than all of your inquisition combined"

"But that doesn't change the fact that even you feel bitter towards couples"

"Ne~ Senpai is jealous of couples?"

"No I just hate those people who flaunt their relationships to the public which especially sickens me when they say that what they have is genuine when clearly it isn't"

"Isn't that the same as being jealous"

『Chiba University, Next stop Chiba Village』

"Here's our stop, alright see ya later Isshiki"

"What do you mean? Senpai I'm coming with you, I also study here you know"

"What?"

Chiba U*

"And here I thought that only person I know who studies here was Zaimokuza"

"Why did you sound annoyed when you said my name Hachiman?"

"Because my main goal here was that I would study here alone and that no one I knew would disturb my peace here in Chiba university but apparently a certain vixen also studies here"

"Mou~ Senpai are yoh saying that you didn't even miss me one bit"

"Actually I was enjoying the lack of kouhais asking for their senpai for help and by asking I meant forcing"

"Mou~ Senpai that's just mean"

After that exhausting banter we split and went to our respective classes where I can finally get some peace of mind... or so I thought

 **YUI'S POV**

First period was Communication and it looks like an oppurtunity where I can make new friends. Hmm... friends

"I wonder how Yukinon is doing in Tokyo?"

As I let my eyes wander around the room while the prof is lecturing about proper body language I saw a slump like literally a slump at the back row hmm looks like sensei also noticed

"Excuse me Mr. Hikigaya can you please reiterate what I just said about the language of the eyes"

Hikki..! he was in the same class as me?

"Uh... that it is the window to the soul?"

"Are you sure of your answer Mr Hikigaya?"

"Pretty sure"

"Mr Hikigaya, I would like for you to understand that this is Communications not Philosophy so instead of spending your time sleeping and gaining nothing but added biological energy, you should listen to the lecture for as I can see you would need it to balance your cynism with it"

"Yes, sensei"

after First period*

Hmm it still looks like that Hikki hasn't changed since highschool still cynical and pessimisstic

 **ALRIGHT THAT'S ALL CAUSE MAH BRAIN IS NOW EMPTY I GOTZ NO MORE IDEAS ON HOW I SHOULD LET THE TWO MEET AGAIN SO UNTIL NEXT TIME FOLKS**


	3. College part 2 feat FFF

**BRING ON ZE FLAMES**

 **DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING**

* * *

 **Previously**

Hachiman dictates to us on his 2nd year in his college life where he meets familiar female faces which composed of a vixen and an airheaded riajuu

 **NOW WE CONTINUE**

 ***Lunchtime***

 **Hachiman's POV**

Even though this is my 2nd year in college, I still can't get over the fact that I left my wonderful and cunning kawaii imouto

 ** _FLASHBACK*_**

"Now Komachi, your onii-chan is going to college so I need you to promise me this"

"Ne what is it onii-chan"

"Never invite and I mean never invite boys in our home nor will yoi go to a boy's house if you are paired with a boy always carry pepper spray, tazers, a nightstick, this walkie talkie that connects to me directly, and this other walkie talkie that connects to the police either one I would know because I instructed the police that when you call they should notify me first, next I need you to also carry a dart gun don't worry it's licensed and can only function with your fingerprints, also-

"Stop it onii-chan your making me into a weapon"

"Of course so that no boys would ever enter your vicinity and also take this hat that generates a force field that pushes away boys or lesbians as I do not want my precious imouto to go down the dark path"

"Ne onii-chan how about you? Are sure you haven't gone down the dark path?

"Of course not"

"Then what about Sai-chan?"

"You leave the angel Totsuka out of this she is beyond human comprehension and is a treasure that deserves to be fawned over by all"

"Yeah, yeah you can stop preaching about Sai-chan now gomii-chan"

"That was a low blow Komachi-san"

 ** _FLASHBACK ENDS*_**

"Oi my dead fish eyed retainer were you still daydreaming about your imouto?"

"Shut up Zaimokuza at least I have a cute girl in my life"

"Ne~ Hikki who is that cute girl in your life?"

Wait... Hikki? Now who was that one person who kept on calling me Hikki again? I believe that was an airhead and it clearlt can't be a guy cause that would be gay and it couldn't be a girl because not one girl in highschool would work up the courage to get near past creep me

"Hikki you haven't changed a bit"

Wait who's this beautiful female specimen that was acting way too familiar with me as if we spent a good three years in highschool

"Uhhh... Who are y- GAHK"

Now to you readers to give you visual description as to what happened to our pessimisstic neiborhood loner, Imagine you and your friend who is afraid of spiders were just hanging when suddenly a spider fell on the back of your head and your friend happens to have a hardbound book in his/her hand then sees the spider and well... you know what happens next

"You truly are a traitor Hachiman"

"What the fuck is wrong with you Zaimokuza"

"Not only did you have an adorable kouhai as an acquaintance you also have the nerve to forget the name of the bubbly and cute one in your club

Ahh so it was Yuigahama

"Mou~Hikki how could you forget me after all that we've been through"

"Yeah sorry about that Yuigahama"

"What am I chopped liver?"

"Oh sorry hi... uhh Somethingkuza-kun

"Apparently I am chopped liver. *Sigh* see you later Hachiman I hope you die"

"Yeah see you later Zaimokuza try living longer by being forever alone"

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING"

*giggle*

"Why are you laughing?"

"Nothing it's just that you haven't changed a bit and your still as blunt as ever"

"Yeah, I prefer to play the villain and speak the ugly truth rather than be a hero who tells pretty lies"

"Yeah and that's what I like about you"

We continue talking about our lives as we partook of our lunch and it seems as though I was wrong about their clique because apparently their feelings were not at all superficial well maybe in the case of that bishounen prince of Sobu, Hayama, who apparently went in a different path in life and as expected Miura was devastated but she eventually got over it and realized her mistake for falling for that fake asshole who used her feelings for is selfish egoistical means

"Yeah, Yumiko was depressed for like a month"

"She still grieving till now?"

"Yeah"

It seems only Hayama was the only one with a superficial facade but can't say it was unexpected I mean really... How can people not now superficiality even if it hit them right in the face?

"So were you the only one who enrolled here in Chiba U?"

"No, Everyone in my clique goes here except for Hayato"

Have any of you ever experience that sudden feeling of emptiness that comes in an instant when you hear a certain phrase that can literally destroy the very thing that you tried to create and preserve. That, that is what I am experiencing right n-

"Hikki you really should keep your monologues to yourself"

"What?"

"You were ranting about something about feeling empty and preserving something you can create"

"Apparently you are still an airhead, and that just makes it even worse"

"Who are you calling an airhead?"

"Who else am I talking to?"

 **Yui's POV**

Seriously Hikki still as cynical as ever. How dare he call me an airhead when it clearly takes a genius to decode his speeches

"Hmph, at least I know when I'm thinking out loud"

"What do you mean?"

"You're smart figure it out"

 **Hachiman's POV**

What did she even mean by that?

* _Flashback Starts*_

Prof: Mr Hikigaya, kindly tell the class of your vision of society

* _Expectation*_

(Outside)

Hikigaya: Society is a controlled variable in our everyday life that our government controls with their laws

(Inside)

Hikigaya: Society is trash. It is composed of hypocritical people trying to control the flow of society by using their superficial influence to get what they want like how feminists say that all men are misogynistic animals that only view women as objects or LGBTQ+ who say that they want specific rights for them so that they can gain equality which is stupid and a fucking waste of time, I mean what do they think? That just because they register their selves as LGBTQ+ that they should also get an advantage in the law for their equality so that they can get special treatment while us straight men are just abiding by the laws and its amendments that lean towards the 2nd gender and the other made up genders.

 _*Reality_ *

(Outside)

Hikigaya: Society is trash. It is composed of hypocritical people trying to control the flow of society by using their superficial influence to get what they want like how feminists say that all men are misogynistic animals that only view women as objects or LGBTQ+ who say that they want specific rights for them so that they can gain equality which is stupid and a fucking waste of time, I mean what do they think? That just because they register their selves as LGBTQ+ that they should also get an advantage in the law for their equality so that they can get special treatment while us straight men are just abiding by the laws and its amendments that lean towards the 2nd gender and the other made up genders.

Random Feministic LGBTQ+: Misogynistic Homophobe

Hikigaya: What's got you riled up?

Prof: Mr Hikigaya as much as I would like to commend you for your honesty and accurate answer about society I would advise you to keep your personal views of the other communities to prevent future conflicts

*End Flashback*

Oh that Fiasco that made an entire class of LGBTQ+ angry

"Seriously?!"

"Huh?"

"Did you seriously anger and entire class of LGBTQ's?"

"Was I thinking out loud again"

"Yup"

FUCK!

"Hikki! Language"

ah damn it

* * *

 ***FFF HQ***

 **Zaimokuza's POV**

"My brothers, I have found another heretic that is a dense ass but has his own harem that consists of a cute kouhai and a pretty and bubbly classmate where he had the nerve to even forget their names"

" **WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"**

"Burn the heretic"

"Find him and torture that lucky bastard"

"Destroy that inconsiderate cunt"

"Follow me my brothers"

Prepare for your demise Hachiman for creating a harem without even trying

* * *

 **THAT'S ALL FOLKS BRING ON ZE FLAMES**

 **IT'S BEEN ALMOST THREE MONTHS SINCE CHAPTER 1 AND THE CAUSE WOULD BE WRITER'S BLOCK SO I JUST MASAMUNE'D IT AND STARTED WRITING WITHOUT INSPIRATIONS AND RESULTED IN THIS TRASH SO IF YOU CHOOSE TO READ THIS THANK YOU AND IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME IN BURNING ME BECAUSE I LACK FIRE IN MY FURNACE SO I NEED YOUR FLAMES FOR HEAT**


	4. Thinning of the FFF herd (literally)

**HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN I THINK ALMOST YEAR? YEAH SO ABOUT THAT I'M SORRY FOR FLAKING OUT SO THIS IS ANOTHER CHAPTER THAT I MASAMUNE'D**

 **DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING** **PLEASE GIVE ME FLAMES SO THAT I KNOW WHERE I WENT WRONG AND PLEASE BE AS BLUNT AS POSSIBLE DO NOT HOLD BACK THANK YOU.**

 **TO GUEST GUY: THANK YOU FOR YOUR BLUNT AND HONEST REVIEW AND INFO ABOUT JAPAN NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT FEMINISTS AND LGBTQ RALLYISTS**

 **OH AND ANOTHER THING I ADDED THESE THINGS "()" TO IDENTIFY WHO'S TALKING**

 **ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: THE PARENTHESES THING ALL CREDITS GO TO DEATH TO ORIGINAL NAMING FROM HIS/HER STORY "The Strange Relationship Between Oppai Dragon and Ramen Chef" GIVE IT A READ EVEN THOUGH IT'S DEAD**

 **PREVIOUSLY:**

 **Zaimokuza's POV**

"Follow me my brothers"

Prepare for your demise Hachiman for creating a harem without even trying

 **We continue:**

 **HACHIMAN'S POV:**

After class adding to my unbreakable streak of misfortune that has befallen me today. In case your wondering what I'm talking about, what happened to me is that my prof called me to her office for some "official business" whatever that meant so naturally I complied because she was my Philosophy prof, my favorite subject.

When I reached her office I started thinking about what business does she even have with me? What is so important that it needs to be discussed in her office?

As I continued thinking the possible outcomes of this unexpected event I suddenly bump into someone.

(a/n: **Yeah I know it's cliche but I needed a trigger for this flag** )

"Oh shoot... You okay?"

(unknown girl)"Yeah I'm fine. You should really mind your surroundings while walking"

Wait... this voice seems familiar.

Now that I take a look at her shee looks oddly familiar. Hmm... who do I know in highschool that has a braid and has greenish hair.

(Unknown girl)"Hikkigaya-kun, is that you?"

Wait... How does she know my name?

"And you are?"

(Unknown girl)"I can't believe you forgot about me"

"Yeah sorry about that, but seriously who are you?"

(Unknown girl)"Does the word 'senpai' jog your memory?"

"Nope it only reminds me of a certain kouhai of mine who's an annoying fox."

(Unknown girl)"Mou~ It's me Hikigaya-kun. Meguri Sagiri, former student council present"

"Meguri Shiromeguri? Doesn't ring a- Ow ow that hurts senpai"

Seriously who is she? She seems familiar and it feels like she's a close acquaintance of mine given that she's currently pulling my ear

"Sh-Shiromeguri-senpai please stop"

(Meguri)"Not until you say something that reminds you of me"

"Umm..."

C'mon Hachiman think... What does she remind you off... Ah

"You're the senpai that accompanied Isshiki in the service clubroom"

(Meguri)"That's right and for retribution for forgetting me yo-"

cough*

(Sensei)"If you'll excuse us Meguri-san I have business with my student so if you don't mind"

THANK YOU SENSEI YOU'RE AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE

(Meguri)"Oh okay sensei, but Hikigaya-kun I'm not done with you"

I hope whatever business sensei has with me will take a while I seriously can't take additional financial problems. Why financial problems you ask? It's because of one specific reason... senpai is a GIRL and girls often punish people by treating them to food so I hope I do something interesting with this "business sensei will assign to me

2 hours later*

"What is wrong with that woman?"

(Sensei)"Hachiman~ let's pick up where we left off you hunk of a man"

Ok I know this is 4th wall breaking and that you're pretty confused right now because what is now happening is that I'm currently being chased by my beautiful but bordelined obsessive sexually frustrated teacher

"Coast is clear, I can breath easy now"

(Unknown Fatso)"HACHIMAN! YOU SHALL PAY DIVINE RETRIBUTION"

What?

 **Zaimokuza's POV**

I am currently hunting down my lucky ass bastard of a friend and demand him to teach me and my brother's that way of the harem. Well... maybe after we toss our frustration unto him and beat him up it all depends on my FFF brothers

As I scoured the cafeteria with my brothers, I found my retainer hiding from a beautiful and not to mention hot sensei. It made my blood boil and the will of fire of the FFF cult is at an all time high for murdering that lucky bastard

"HACHIMAN! YOU SHALL PAY DIVINE RETRIBUTION"

(FFF losers)"MY BROTHERS! ADVANCE"

random warcries*

(Disciplinary Officer) "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

"umm club activities"

clears throat* Hello My name is Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, you may know me as the chuuni friend of the protagonist of the story but rest assured I can act like a decent person when I want to but it only works during 4th wall breaks. Ok let's get to the topic first why am I currently talking to you because the author would like to introduce the side character in an epic way but only ends up failing miserably and failing to find a way to introduce the side character that can cause you to say "Cool" as how he puts it

 **(A/N: Oi! It's hard to introduce characters in an epic way don't you know)**

Yeah ,yeah I bet I can do it better than you could

(Hachiman)"Very unlikely as your light novels are actually trash compared to this one and this one's already at barely above trash level"

Even though I would like to ask as to how you are here, I can't, you disabled me from doing the job the author has given me

 **(A/N: Oi! What do you mean barely above trash level? I'll have you know that my story is actually very compelling and has interesting character development in the future)**

(Hachiman)"Yes, but you also have the attention span of a sparrow and immediately forget what you were trying to write and end up walking away from your story, and also where is your narration? Dialoges are not enough the people might not easily get what you are trying to portray.

 **(A/N:...)**

 **(A/N:End me now. END ME NOW! EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID IS TRUE I-I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, PLEASE STOP IT)**

(Hachiman)"Just do your job properly and get it done"

Well done Hachiman, you broke the author

(Hachiman)"Let's just get this over with"

『4th wall is now restored.』

 **Still Zaimokuza's POV**

Chiba U counselling room*

(Disciplinary Officer)"What the hell were you thinking?"

"The future of the FFF society"

BANG*

What the hell?! Since when was it allowed to clobber your students?

(Disciplinary Officer)"Ok, listen what I want you to do is to stop this no couple brigade of yours then after school all of you are to perform the Military Exercises with our college ROTC

(Entire FFF sans Zaimokuza) "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

(Disciplinary Officer) "Either that or be expelled"

(Entire FFF) "..."

(Disciplinary Officer) "Are you guys seriously considering expulsion?"

(Entire FFF sans Zaimokuza) " What should we do great leader?

"We should ask the Fumizuki branch leader"

Fumizuki Academy*

 **Yoshii's POV**

"I can't wait for the FFF meeting"

(Fumizuki branch FFF member) "He's here"

"What's wrong guys?"

(Fumizuki branch FFF leader) "Ok now we shall start our meeting to decide the fate of our brothers in Chiba U"

whispers* "Oi what happened in the Chiba branch"

(Fumizuki branch FFF member) *whispers* "They got caught and given an ultimatum"

(Fumizuki branch FFF leader) "SILENCE... now we shall vote harsh ROTC or Expulsion?"

Harsh ROTC-99

Expulsion-1

(Fumizuki branch FFF leader) " Then that's that case closed"

I wonder who voted for expulsion?

Chiba U counseling room*

 **Zaimokuza's POV**

"Sorry to those who are like me"

(FFF member) "Why leader?"

"Because it has been by majority vote that we will experience Harsh ROTC training"

(FFF fat members)" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why did it have to be that leader?"

"Because the ROTC option has been chosen to empower our bodies to have greater power against these lucky guys, the Fumizuki academy truly is the brains of all FFF branches combined"

(FFF fat members)" Oh great leader, you truly are wise. We too shall not surrender"

"That's the spirit"

(FFF MEMBERS) "Hurrah! Viva La FFF"

 **A/N**

 **THAT WRAPS UP THIS CHAPTER SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS IT HORRIBLE? IS IT WONDERFUL? I DON'T CARE AS LONG AS YOU SHALL GIVE ME YOUR CRITICSM ON THIS STORY**

 **P.S.**

 **I WROTE THIS BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A SHITTY TIME TRYING TO WRITE MY OTHER STORY THAT INVOLVES DEEP CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF HELP AS TO HOW I'M GONNA WRITE IT SO YEAH IF YOU CAN SEND HELP THEN PLEASE SEND HELP**


End file.
